So I guess you've seen 'The Secret', or read one of the many books available on how you can use the so called 'law of attraction' to make your dreams come true. A little positive thinking, some creative visualisation and a few affirmations should have you driving that shiny new Porsche in no time at all - and without any effort, work or outlay either. After all, you are the creative force of the universe aren't you? You can have anything you want, use the power of God at your whim, remake reality to your liking with a single thought, right?
Oh, but hang on a minute. That's not really the experience you've been having is it? Nor does it seem to be anyone else's experience. Must be those pesky negative beliefs getting in the way. Maybe you just need to work harder at those self affirming affirmations, be more vigilant about watching those annoying self sabotage thoughts (where'd they come from?), make your visualisations more vivid and emotionally engaging. Of course if all that fails, it doesn't really mean it isn't true, it's just that the universe is having to teach you more lessons before the gates of wealth and power open to you.
It has to be true. All those people selling you these ideas and concepts seem to be doing all right. Then again, they do seem to be using your money to do it. Strange that. If their so good at all this manifesting, why do they need to sell you all these expensive training programs, books and DVD's to make their dreams come true. But it just has to be true, doesn't it. If it isn't true, if all this power is not yours to use, then who are you? Just another human being getting pushed around by the big bad world, having to slave away at a job just like everyone else? Merely another normal person facing all the trials and tribulations of this unpredictable, overwhelming, difficult little life.
Well, perhaps neither of these realities is entirely true. Maybe there is a middle path. It's possible that we do in fact have a part to play in the great story of creation, that we do have some power over what comes our way - just perhaps not as much as we would like to think. It's also possible that we have some limitations to deal with, that reality requires something of us before it rewards us with our dreams fulfilled. Maybe it's not really us who are making the rules here.
After all, imagine for a minute a reality in which your every desire is instantly fulfilled, and so is everyone else's. We're going to need a lot of super models, expensive cars, big houses and platinum credit cards. If everyone is rolling in it, who's going to serve us our double espresso latte in the morning? Who cleans the toilets, changes the babies nappy, does the really hard jobs, or the boring ones? If everyone has three investment properties, who's renting them? you don't have to think about this very far to realise that there's a pretty big hole in this Utopian ideal. For your reality to be everlasting ease and comfort, someone else's has to really suck. So, what's wrong with being merely human anyway?
John Bradshaw, in his book "healing the shame that binds you", gives us something of a clue about all this. He calls it the shame bound personality problem. An identity bound in what he calls 'toxic shame' cannot accept itself as it is, cannot live with the limitations of being human, so it wanders ceaselessly between the polarities of devastating shame and absolute shamelessness. Such a person is bouncing between perceiving themselves as a subhuman, disgusting worthless failure or a superhuman invincible success story with the power of God at their fingertips.
Why can't they stand to know themselves as just a normal human? Because the trauma's of their life have left them feeling profoundly ashamed. Ashamed of not living up to the expectations of others. Ashamed of not being able to defend themselves (or others) against the assaults they've experienced. Ashamed of not having been able to heal the perpetrators of those assaults who are usually parents or loved ones. Ashamed, Ashamed, Ashamed. An seemingly unbearable, unresolvable, unforgiveable feeling of not being OK. Better then to escape, to lose oneself in a fantasy of ultimate power and ultimate fulfillment.
But this blog is not about healing the shame that drives us to such dreams. It's about the Real Law of Attraction. Because it's true that we are creative - that the universe bends to our will. It's just that our will is not under the control of our ego. We cannot make our will (which is the will of God inside of us) submit to the authority of a mere personality, of a mind caught in delusions of grandeur and shame. It is our ego that must surrender to IT if we wish to become happy and fulfilled. This is not a random universe, ruled by tantrum throwing personalities screaming for instant gratification. It is a universe of order and of love, where we each serve each other like the cells of our body serve one another.
The real law of attraction is simply this - "our reality will aways reflect our consciousness, whether we like it or not". Every unhealed wound will bring exactly the situation that is needed to re-trigger it, so that you may have another opportunity to heal. Every mistaken belief will manifest in a vivid four dimensional technicolor life experience to be reviewed. Every attempt to escape yourself will come crashing down around you so that you might once more choose to turn and face what your really are. Every attempt to defend, insulate and avoid the reality of your true state of being will fail, usually in spectacular and shocking fashion.
If we think you can manipulate this simple truth with affirmations, visualisations and positive self talk we are sadly, devastatingly mistaken. God is not so easy to fool. Grace is no sucker to be conned. Reality is not a toy that exists for the gratification of immature ego's.
So - would you be happy and fulfilled? At peace with yourself and your life? then stop trying to change your reality, which is the greatest teacher you could ever have, and start changing your mind. Find out who you really are. Do the things you really love. Share the gifts you have been given. Uplift others with your positive words. Live the passions that make you feel alive and excited. Do the work that is before you. Play your part in the great scheme of creation and creation will give you everything you have ever needed (but maybe not everything you have ever wanted).
Do you want to know the real secret? There is no secret. Never has been. Never will be. What a cruel trick that would be. For a loving creator to fill his children with the desire for happiness and then withhold from them the knowledge of how to attain it. That knowledge is built into every cell of your body. The truth and wisdom you seek has always been there, freely available. People have been shouting it at you for years. However, you will have to give up illusions of control, delusions of specialness, and the idea that you can somehow take from life more than you give to it. Nature isn't stupid, and she holds all the cards.
Together We Rise.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Knifes Edge
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In the fifties and sixties a man by the name of Jean Paul Sartre came to the attention of the world with his inspired and (for the time) radical philosophies on life, the universe and everything. He was the father of what is called existentialism, an approach to living that some say could be summarised as 'shit happens, deal with it'..
Existentialsim covers a great many principles. For me one of the most important is the idea that life is a balancing act between ever opposing fluid polarities. Polarities like serving our own interests or the interests of others, adapting to our environment or influencing it to our own desires, seeking instant gratification or being disciplined towards a greater goal.We are faced every day with choices, a constant to and fro of give and take. Sartre asserts that this is the nature of life, and that this gives rise to what he called 'existential angst', which is a constant state of dynamic anxiety that invigorates and challenges us. He also speculated that the attempt to avoid this 'angst, to create an illusory sense of safety, is at the core of all true suffering and neuroticism in the human condition. This was illustrated brilliantly to me the other night when a character in a television show delivered the line "We're all scared. If you're not scared, you're not paying attention".
The ideal of existentialism is that we should live in a state of paying attention to the moment, looking life in the face and not shrinking from it's realities. This, according to Sartre, gives us the capacity to live in a truly authentic and empowered way. Only in this state can we arrive at a place of what I call 'existential contentment', where we are happy to allow life to bring whatever it brings, secure in the knowledge that we will respond in powerful and creative ways.
But therein lies the problem, for many of us are NOT secure in such knowledge. Many do not experience themselves as resourceful, able and powerful. We believe ourselves to be broken, dysfunctional and inadequate to the task of living life. For many of us the experience of socialisation by our society and the traumas of our life have robbed us of out natural confidence, the belief in our ability to meet life on it's terms.This is of course a catch 22. We cannot allow ourselves to face life in such a naked manner because we do not have confidence to face it's challenges - and we cannot discover our power to do so if we do not face life in this way.
One response to this situation that has impressed me is called Narrative Therapy. Pioneered by Michael White and others (based on the thinking of Sartre and other luminaries), this approach helps its clients to discover the resources and power that they are too often unaware of. Many of us fail to realise the myriad of powerful and creative ways we have always responded to life's challenges. White believes that no human being responds passively to trauma - that no matter how overwhelming and damaging the event is, we always do the best we can to protect and maintain the things that are precious to us. He asserts that every human being has innate core values that truly define who we are, values that we defend at all costs, though often in unseen and subtle ways.
This is a powerful idea, because if we are willing to take it on and look at the myriad ways in which we have fought to sustain the things that are precious to us, it can entirely change the way we see ourselves. No longer can I identify purely as a victim of life's circumstances. No more can I subscribe entirely to a view of myself as powerless, or totally deny responsibility for the way my world is.
He calls this the 'other half' of the trauma story. Certainly there are bad things that have happened to us, and the feelings of isolation, powerlesssness and confusion that always accompany trauma and repression. But there is also the actions that we have taken to preserve, protect and continue our true self in response to those things. Actions that, when seen, prove to be amazingly powerful, creative and courageous. Actions that allow us to look back on these events and witness not just the horror and the pain, but our own heroism and resilience in the face of overwhelming power.
For, to reflect the philosophy of Sartre, life on planet earth isn't always pretty..It's now comforting for me to look back over the years, with all the trials and tribulations that have threatened to overwhelm me. I realise that somehow I must have found a way to face them and come through with the most important parts of me intact, the values that are dear to my heart. If I've been able to do that for over forty years, working with limited knowledge, then I'll probably manage to face the next forty reasonably well given the benefit of all that added experience.
So, not for me the path of illusory safety and insulation, the neurotic attempts to try and bring life under control and tame it. I say give me the knife's edge. Bring it on, warts and all.The pain, the pleasure, the joy and the sadness, the love and the loss. It's certainly been an interesting ride so far, wouldn't want to miss the rest of it. The reason I can pursue such a philosophy, daring to face life on it terms knowing that it will bring both triumph and disappointment, is because I know that through it all there is something inside of me that will always respond in powerful, creative and self sustaining ways. Something I call grace.
To echo the wisdom of Jena Paul Sartre, "we all die, and we die alone" - but we don't have to live that way.
In the fifties and sixties a man by the name of Jean Paul Sartre came to the attention of the world with his inspired and (for the time) radical philosophies on life, the universe and everything. He was the father of what is called existentialism, an approach to living that some say could be summarised as 'shit happens, deal with it'..
Existentialsim covers a great many principles. For me one of the most important is the idea that life is a balancing act between ever opposing fluid polarities. Polarities like serving our own interests or the interests of others, adapting to our environment or influencing it to our own desires, seeking instant gratification or being disciplined towards a greater goal.We are faced every day with choices, a constant to and fro of give and take. Sartre asserts that this is the nature of life, and that this gives rise to what he called 'existential angst', which is a constant state of dynamic anxiety that invigorates and challenges us. He also speculated that the attempt to avoid this 'angst, to create an illusory sense of safety, is at the core of all true suffering and neuroticism in the human condition. This was illustrated brilliantly to me the other night when a character in a television show delivered the line "We're all scared. If you're not scared, you're not paying attention".
The ideal of existentialism is that we should live in a state of paying attention to the moment, looking life in the face and not shrinking from it's realities. This, according to Sartre, gives us the capacity to live in a truly authentic and empowered way. Only in this state can we arrive at a place of what I call 'existential contentment', where we are happy to allow life to bring whatever it brings, secure in the knowledge that we will respond in powerful and creative ways.
But therein lies the problem, for many of us are NOT secure in such knowledge. Many do not experience themselves as resourceful, able and powerful. We believe ourselves to be broken, dysfunctional and inadequate to the task of living life. For many of us the experience of socialisation by our society and the traumas of our life have robbed us of out natural confidence, the belief in our ability to meet life on it's terms.This is of course a catch 22. We cannot allow ourselves to face life in such a naked manner because we do not have confidence to face it's challenges - and we cannot discover our power to do so if we do not face life in this way.
One response to this situation that has impressed me is called Narrative Therapy. Pioneered by Michael White and others (based on the thinking of Sartre and other luminaries), this approach helps its clients to discover the resources and power that they are too often unaware of. Many of us fail to realise the myriad of powerful and creative ways we have always responded to life's challenges. White believes that no human being responds passively to trauma - that no matter how overwhelming and damaging the event is, we always do the best we can to protect and maintain the things that are precious to us. He asserts that every human being has innate core values that truly define who we are, values that we defend at all costs, though often in unseen and subtle ways.
This is a powerful idea, because if we are willing to take it on and look at the myriad ways in which we have fought to sustain the things that are precious to us, it can entirely change the way we see ourselves. No longer can I identify purely as a victim of life's circumstances. No more can I subscribe entirely to a view of myself as powerless, or totally deny responsibility for the way my world is.
He calls this the 'other half' of the trauma story. Certainly there are bad things that have happened to us, and the feelings of isolation, powerlesssness and confusion that always accompany trauma and repression. But there is also the actions that we have taken to preserve, protect and continue our true self in response to those things. Actions that, when seen, prove to be amazingly powerful, creative and courageous. Actions that allow us to look back on these events and witness not just the horror and the pain, but our own heroism and resilience in the face of overwhelming power.
For, to reflect the philosophy of Sartre, life on planet earth isn't always pretty..It's now comforting for me to look back over the years, with all the trials and tribulations that have threatened to overwhelm me. I realise that somehow I must have found a way to face them and come through with the most important parts of me intact, the values that are dear to my heart. If I've been able to do that for over forty years, working with limited knowledge, then I'll probably manage to face the next forty reasonably well given the benefit of all that added experience.
So, not for me the path of illusory safety and insulation, the neurotic attempts to try and bring life under control and tame it. I say give me the knife's edge. Bring it on, warts and all.The pain, the pleasure, the joy and the sadness, the love and the loss. It's certainly been an interesting ride so far, wouldn't want to miss the rest of it. The reason I can pursue such a philosophy, daring to face life on it terms knowing that it will bring both triumph and disappointment, is because I know that through it all there is something inside of me that will always respond in powerful, creative and self sustaining ways. Something I call grace.
To echo the wisdom of Jena Paul Sartre, "we all die, and we die alone" - but we don't have to live that way.
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