In the beginning

So, blog No 1. the big numero uno, the first word.

This is a blog about my ongoing quest to live my live from a place of Passion & Grace. Which leads to the obvious question - what exactly is grace (passion being fairy self explanatory)? Don't get me wrong, I'm not on some sort of religious trip with this. Grace, for me, is a very direct and real experience - that moment when I find myself inexplicably at peace, unfettered by fears, worries and striving. I think everyone has had this experience at some point in their life, I just became fascinated by it, mainly because it feels so darn good.

I'm not sure when I first became consiously aware of it, but one of the earliest 'standout' experiences for me was in my early twenty's. I was involved in a failing business, which had beggared me to the point where I really didn't know where the next meal was coming from. I remember walking up the street in Crowsnest, Sydney, in a state of complete panic and stress. My head was swimming with a fog of fear and dark imaginings and I felt utterly sick to my stomach. At some point, a small black and white cat came out of it's yard and started walking beside me. Normally I would stop to give the little fella a pat, but I was so involved in my self pity that I chose to ignore him. Nevertheless he kept following me, in fact he crossed two busy city roads to keep up. Eventually I sucumbed to the pressure and stopped to give him some attention. After only a short while he got up, turned around and started back towards his house. As I watched him deftly weaving between speeding cars I remember thinking what a strange thing it was for a cat to do.

Half a block later I suddenly realised that I was no longer suffering from fear and worry, in fact I was joyfully humming a tune and enjoying the sunshine. Nothing about my situation had changed, I still didn't have a clue what to do about eating that night, but it no longer seemed to be a problem. I realised that something had moved that cat to be my saving Angel, something I didn't understand that was obviously beyond my everyday experience of life.

That something is what I call Grace, and the older I get the more I realise that it underpinss my entire existence. Each and every day of my life is filled with it, and the more I become aware of it the more joyful, passionate and 'graceful' my life becomes. I've learnt to understand over the ensuing years that grace is not some random, or even unusual occurrence. It is a deep well of power, the vital force in my life that is attempting to move me to happiness and fulfillment, if only I can get out my own way. It asks nothing of me beyond my trust, makes no demands, renders no judgements and requires no payment. And all I have to do to enjoy its gifts is to recognise it, to see life through eyes of gratitude, appreciation and curiosity.

So, is my life a perfect unfolding of joy? Not at all, I face the same challenges and trials as everyone else does. However, when I 'remember to remember grace', I find that I face those challenges from a very different and more empowered place. It strikes me that Grace is the opposite of Stress. Stress arises for me when I'm believing that somehow I do not have the power to meet those challenges, that I'm outmatched by life. Grace is the recognition that my life is driven by a power far deeper than my conscious mind and more vast than I can imagine. The same power that makes my body breathe in and out, that makes rivers run, birds fly and stars turn in the heavens in feats of impossibly complex perfection.

I do have to give some thing up to find grace in my life though. Things like arrogance, control, aggression, defensiveness and fairytale fantasies of perfect futures planned by yours truly. this was brought home to me on my 30th birthday, when I sat down and reviewed the last twelve years of my life as a self responsible adult. It became clear to me that absolutely none of the plans I had made for my life had come to fruition. This disturbed me for a minute, until I realised that my life had been far richer and more interesting than any of my plans would have been, and that I was a better person for it. I decided then and there to treat my dreams and plans with a degree of skepticism, and stay open to the possibility that my life was a greater adventure than I knew.

So, a little introduction to the grace that I find in my life. In writing this Blog I hope to achieve two things. Firstly, to keep myself in the practice of surrendering to grace and secondly, to share with whomever is interested the little moments of insight and joy that enrich my life (and hopefully yours) when I live my life from passion and grace.
Blessings

Adam Blanch